Love or Job? -- a question posted in Quora

Question：I have to pick between my girlfriend, whom I absolutely love, and my dream job, which pays 5 times as much as I currently make. What do I do?EditEssentially, I have to pick between love and an incredible career due to relocation etc. I absolutely cannot have both.

Following are some hot answers.

Justin Cremer:I had this choice once. I chose the girl. It is the only regret I have in my life. The job was on a NASCAR pit crew. The girl is long-gone. As was the NASCAR opportunity by the time that was sorted out.The most important thing that stands out to me from here, now, is "why did I percieve these to be mutually exclusive choices?" That was a false problem. If she really loved me, the job wouldn't have stood in the way. We could have worked it out together. Love always finds a way. No, what's clear to me now is that I created a false dilemma because I didn't believe I was worthy to do what I really dreamed of doing. I created a false problem and it was an excuse to avoid my fear ofbeing exposed as a below-average engineer. NOW -- today -- I know that I'm not below average. Back then, I wasn't sure. NOW I know I'm great. And that has nothing to so with anyone else -- or the averages of those anyone else's. I threw away my life's dream because I was scared. So I'll pose the same question to you: why do you perceive these to be mutually exclusive? Are they really? Choose the career and the relationship becomes difficult, not impossible. Choose to pass on the career choice and that career choice is now impossible, not difficult. My advice is to get real with yourself. Keep asking why you want what you want and why to that answer and why to the answer of that until you land on "real." You know what you want. It's in there. You owe it to yourself to be real. Then you can have a fair conversation with her about what you want, what she wants, and how it might work. You owe it to her too.

Susie Johnson:My old psychology lecturer taught me this one.Flip a coin. But do not focus on whether it comes up heads or tails.Instead, focus on the moment the coin went into the air. What were you hopingwould happen? Were you hoping it would be tails and that the universe is telling you to stay with your beautiful partner? Or were you hoping it would be heads, to take a risk on that new job venture? Believe me, you already know what you want. Bring the answer into your consciousness!Good luck :)

Bill Gibbons:If you had said "dream girl" instead of "dream job", I'd have said her...but you've already made up your mind. Good luck and be straight with her.

Jane Chin:I would pick the dream job.True Love can survive long distances and miserable winters, until you reunite.On the other hand, even the best of Intentions for Love have not been able to stand up well to the harshest tests of financial struggle.

Garrick Saito:There are no guarantees either choice will work out in your favor.There is a possibility that:you may get fired next week, next month or next yearyou could get dumped next week, next month of next yearYou'll hear stories of regret both ways.You'll hear stories of great success both ways.You already know in your heart what the answer is. You don't need others to validate it for you. Good luck on whatever you decide.

Becky Lee:I am a hopeless romantic so I want to say choose love!! However the logical part of my mind that has been through plenty of relationships tells me that you should choose the job.. And if it's meant to be with her it will happen later on.. Because what will be worse? A) losing a girl you loved and being heart sick for a while orB) losing the job THEN losing the girl and growing bitter and resentful and hating all women then eventually hanging yourself from your shower rod because all you can think if is giving up that big chanceC) you give up the job and are happy in love and get married and realize the whole time she pressures you to make more money and doesn't appreciate what yougave up once the glamor wears off, then you feel annoyed inside

Annie Wang：Pick the job. Ask her if she'll relocate with you. If she won't, break it off like a gentleman.There are billions of women in this world. You'll fall in love again.

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